Today is the second anniversary of my father’s passing. 

Two years. I feel as though ten years has passed. And in other ways, it feels like it was yesterday. I can say that the pain and grief doesn’t subside. It is always there. 

I was speaking with someone today who is a new father. He commented on how rough it is. That he couldn’t imagine having twins. In the discussion, we talked about how we don’t teach the baby to adapt to being, but we adapt to becoming a father. It is something that you become and adapt into. You are now a father (or mother.)

Not having a loved one is a lot like that. I will never go back to the person I was prior to my father’s passing. This is a new version of me. A version that doesn’t have an earthly father. 

That will never change.