As someone who loves the board gaming hobby, and consequently, Shutup & Sit Down; their t-shirt contest has me in stitches.
It’s not the first time Afton has dated a bad boy of whom her parents didn’t approve.
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]
My wife is funny
We will allow all ages before 5 p.m. If you are under the age of 18, then you need an adult companion (21 ) with you. After 6 p.m., only those age 21 and over will be allowed in our establishment. We will have a doorman checking IDs! We hear he gets 10 STR to all attacks. If you’re looking for underage drinking, go somewhere else.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government’s fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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